First Things First

One of the problems I wish I could zap away from all my friends’ and family’s relationships is a selfish attitude.  I can spot the men who give their wives little to no pleasure by watching how they interact with each other.  The man that doesn’t go out of his way to do something for his wife, the man that doesn’t consider the feelings of others, the man that expects his wife to do all the ‘woman’ tasks, etc., and this can go either way, of course.
For example.. A male co-worker and I had to work so closely that our relationship almost went brother/sister, so we talked about everything.  For many years he’d complain about his wife’s lack of interest in the bedroom, while mine was roaring.  I had guesses why her interest was next to nothing, but it was confirmed one day while in the grocery store with my co-worker.  We had to pick stuff up and split the cost, so we shopped together.  I carried the hand basket while he put stuff into it.  At one point it became so heavy I needed both hands to carry it.  We stood in line, paid for the items, and got all the way out to the car, and all the while I was carrying everything.  This may seem silly, but I knew from his lack of concern for me, his friend and co-worker, that he was probably showing very little for his wife because it wasn’t in his nature to think about others.  My husband would never have allowed me or any other woman to carry the items around the store, to the register, or out of the store.  Feminism and sexism aside, this was very telling.  I imagined he was caring so little about how much pleasure she received that she had no incentive to give the matter attention at all.  On the other hand, my very unselfish and thoughtful husband and I would spend four or five days straight on foreplay alone.
YES.
Not 24 hours around the clock, but several hours a night, yes we would.  By the weekend, we’d wrap it up with a finale, but by then we’d both be ready.  My husband’s very thoughtful nature extended into the bedroom, and that’s because it’s just the way he is.  He isn’t concerned for me as a way of looking for long nights of sexual intimacy, but he is rewarded with it by default because I know he cares more than anything how much pleasure I am getting out of it...and the pleasure is all mine!
He wasn’t always like that.  He was always a very kind, gentle man who cared about anyone or any animal; however, he realized one day he needed to do better as a husband, and he decided that he would always put me first.  He’d jump up to get me a drink when I’d mention being thirsty.  I’d say, no, I can get it myself.  He wouldn’t allow it.  After several times of him doing this I told him he didn’t have to do it.  His reply, “I want to.  This is what makes me happy.”
Being my slave?
No, he said, doing whatever made me happy.  My happiness was his happiness.
Who am I to deprive a man of his happiness?
Lol
Seriously, though, I decided to quit arguing with him and let him do what made him happy.  It amazes me when I think about it, but it actually made him love me more.  In return, I wanted to do the things that made him happy.  Despite my own work schedule, I make sure his dinner is on the table every night when he walks in the door.  I don’t even eat dinner, and I don’t like to cook, but I know that a hot, home-cooked meal is what he loves.  So he gets it five nights a week.
That’s just one thing I do for him, but the whole “serving” each other thing has made us love each other more, so we have grown closer than ever, and continue to.
Men can say, “um, no.”  And women can say, “I wouldn’t want him to.”  But if it can only create more love between them, why wouldn’t they?  Don’t people know that a truly deep love between two people is founded on an unselfish heart?  Don’t you know that a true love will create deeper desire?
Well, you all can say no all you want or think us fools, but my husband gets fifty shades of whatever he wants, whenever he wants.  Do you?

Me to a T

I'll be up front with you--
I do not think I am as strong as any man physically.
I do not think women and men are equal in all ways.
I do not think men are the sole creators of sexual violence.
I think women do need to be responsible for how they trigger sexuality.
I do think that what we wear can invite or dissuade attention.
I do not think women should have so much control over their bodies that it infringes upon the rights of others (meaning, a fetus or the father of the baby.)

However...I do believe that
-women should be paid equally to men based on merit (as in....if women soccer players cannot generate the same profits as men's soccer, then they shouldn't get paid the same...but if I'm doing the same work generating the same results, I should get paid as much as the men.)
-women are partners in a marriage, home, family, any relationship.
-women are just as brilliant (I can run circles around most people when it comes to intelligence.  Yes, sorry, but I can.)
-I should be allowed to live my life the way I want, not dictated by anyone, certainly not by a man.  Ugh, I really have little respect for people that allow someone to control them against their wills.

I'm telling you all this because of the simple fact that I live to please my husband.

YES!
I live to please him because IT MAKES ME HAPPY.
Say that again?
IT MAKES ME HAPPY.

I love being loved by him, being worshiped like a queen by him, and having him state to anyone that he has the Best. Wife. Ever.  (that's how he texts it--delish, right?)

Has your partner ever said that about you?
Over and over again?

So, I'm here to help.  I will relate my sexploits with him, not in vulgar specificity, but in ways that will help you step outside your comfort zone a bit.  And I direct this to any side of the partnership--all can benefit if the need is there.  You may say, Why can't my wife be like that?  And I'll say, This is why...now do something to change it!  You may say, Why doesn't my husband seem pleased at any given time of the day to hear from me?  And I'll say, Here's what you can do to change that.

Will it all work 100% of the time with 100% of the population?  Mmm, probably not, but if you can glean one little thing from me to set your relationship up on a higher level, then it's worth the effort, right?  After all, I'm not a 20-something, thin, exercise and make-up junkie.  I'm an every-woman (okay, probably lean more to the exceptional on looks versus average) who doesn't spend tons of money on myself.  On the contrary, I spend my free time with HIM...and that's secret #1.